Originally Posted 6/11/17
Before we go into Week 21 let us take one in depth look at something that has dug very deep into too many that I know... including myself. Then.... let's move forward.
Dawn Kiss published a note.
July 17, 2010
How many faces are there?
For the past 2 weeks I have been attempting to bring Light to the subject of Domestic Violence. There are so many faces to this debilitating dis-ease.
The very worst case scenario is Death... actual physical death caused by the abuser. This is when society fails the victim. When the laws do not work and all is taken way too lightly and dismissed to the end result of death.
The other faces? Violence itself... the broken bones, bruised body parts, the drawn blood from simply saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.... there is no end to the physical possibilities of Domestic Violence. Whether it be a simple back hand for 'getting out of line' in their minds or a hospital visit with a cast afterward and the knowing looks of the nurses and doctors with that all too familiar excuse that goes along with it "it was just an accident. He didn't mean it".... each is the cause of a deep wound. And please do remember that there are way too many cases when that "He" is also a "She". Please do not forget that men feel just as deeply as women. All hearts are sacred. All souls are precious. All lives deserve to live fully... being free.
Take out the factor of the violent abuser and there are still many faces left. You have the silent abuser... the ones who shreds the life out of you. They make it look as if they are so innocent and you are so wrong .... no matter what. There are no visible scars, yet it can all be seen in the eyes. If you look deep enough into a victim of this type of abuse you can look for miles in their eyes and find "almost" nothing. They have managed to find the key to survival by not engaging in the 'banter'... that 'innocent banter' that is put out there to them day in and day out. The put downs, the insults, the stripping of their soul. All those gentle little stab wounds add up. Given time and expert cultivation you will see a healthy soul deteriorate into a soul who is lost and wandering.... one who has no self worth because it was stripped out of them. These wounds may not be visible.... yet they hurt just as bad, sometimes dig deeper than an occasional physical wound and take much longer to heal.
Mellow it out a little more and you have something that is almost acceptable in today's society.... pure neglect. Why would anyone think that 'neglect' is part of Domestic Violence? Most people wouldn't. However, anytime love is withheld from another soul it is a very mild case of abuse compared to the rest of it. Yet is it really mild? It can do just as much damage as all the other faces... given enough time. Relationships of any type.... parent - child, husband - wife, etc.... should all be based on a foundation that is comprised of Trust, Truth, Compassion, Love and acceptance of who the other person is as they are right that very second with the understanding that they will grow and they will change over the years. The key is to grow together and share in the changes. To celebrate life and to encourage the partner to spread their wings and fly. It is not to ignore or neglect the partner and very subtly hold them back from becoming who they were born to be. This is a form of a very slow painful death... one that is very seldom detected in today's world.
All of you have had enormous patience with me. There is a little more that I still need to cover as an after affect from all of this. Please bare with me over the next week or two in order for me to reach those hearts, those souls who are hurting so deeply. I understand their pain. All I wish for is to have them know that they are not alone and that there is Hope.
Please be gentle with your own souls. Reach out to others as if you were tending a garden... gently, compassionately and lovingly. And as you do... please know that my hand is offered to you in love as well.