Originally Posted 5/21/17
Week 18......Gender has no ownership on abuse.
Abuse comes with many faces.... physical violence (this is the most obvious one), emotional (easy to miss but you can see it in the eyes), mental (another one that is easy to miss, yet there is a tell tale sign of silence surrounding the person), spiritual (yes people do have the ability to rip a person's faith to shreds), financial (give that one some thought), dis-empowerment (have you ever seen a strong person fall apart... bit by tiny bit because someone has sucked the life out of them?), and neglect (by doing nothing, simply ignoring a person, there can be so much damage done without anyone ever noticing. Think of it this way... if you are ignored long enough would you start to ask yourself if you're really worth talking to at all?).
Dawn Kiss published a note.
June 28, 2010 ·
Please join me in reaching out....
There are not only battered women out there, but battered men as well. How many people don't realize this? The focus has been on Domestic Violence as a 'dysfunction in society' as if paperwork and laws could fix it. There are no laws to stop the pain. There is no relief from the madness. There is constant agony. I offer you this....
"I have no tears" …
Precious pain you brought me death
for there was nothing left!
My heart… my soul were ripped from me
Stolen… taken… can’t you see?
And what of this empty shell?
What secrets could it tell?
Her heart was made of stone
Hard as ice… like a soul with no home.
I have no tears, they’ve all been shed.
Just as my broken heart’s been bled
of all emotions ‘til it does run clear.
This is what you see from there.
You look upon a useless man,
a man who has done all he can.
Yet nothing was ever good enough.
Nothing could survive this hell… especially love.
So bury me now and be done with it!
Please put me out of my misery from it,
before she sees I’m still alive
and her anger once again does thrive.
A soul deserves so much more than this.
A heart needs to understand bliss.
Yet all I have are memories.
Please let me go… holding onto these.
Created by Dawn Ellen Kiss
I'm sure there are some people wondering how I could write from a man's perspective. Once you have experienced domestic violence you never forget the signs, the feelings or the after effects. You can deny it. Remove yourself from the situation. But the memories are always there... just below the surface. The longer the time frame the deeper they settle in.
Eventually someone comes along and you see the signs and feel the feelings as if they were your own. This is how I could write such a piece. I have been free from Domestic Violence for many years now, yet those memories serve me well to understand another soul who hasn't healed yet. It is from this place that I can see so clearly. The surface wounds heal eventually. Yet those deep in the soul take so much longer.
Sometimes there aren't even any wounds on the surface. It is then that people doubt that a soul is even going through crisis because it isn't visible. In this 'show me' society this type of domestic violence gets dismissed and the damage continues until the person... man or woman... can no longer live in the situation. Only at this point is there a chance for Hope. A person must be able to see their own self worth in order to remove themselves from hell. Then they have two choices. Leave or stand up to the abuse and break the cycle. Either takes courage. Either is dangerous.
What I am asking of you this week is for you to truly look into the eyes of all you meet. See if they are 'empty'. See if they are 'wounded'. See if they are 'pleading for help' even if their voice is silent. See if they can even 'look at you' or if they 'turn away'. Without some form of proof it is hard to call the authorities. Yet if you see any of these signs you can offer Love. You can offer Gentleness either through your voice or through a look. You can offer Hope simply by showing that person that you noticed them and that they are a beautiful being. Any small act of Kindness to a stranger can move mountains if they let it in. Yes they have to want to let it in, but if no one tries... no one heals. So for this week... offer love... offer what you are so used to having that you may not even think about it.... Respect. It is from this vantage point that a Victim will start to look at themselves differently.
All I ask for this week is a simple gesture of caring. A simple gesture to you... can be a life line to a battered man or woman. Please offer up a prayer for your eyes to see and their heart to receive and let God do the rest.
I thank you for allowing me to go into areas that are not comfortable for some, not popular for others and that truly hurt. May your hearts be heard... your offerings be accepted. May you make a difference... no matter how tiny it could be.
Thank you all for all you do.