Originally Posted 6/11/17
Week 21.... Time to Live....
Dawn Kiss published a note.
July 20, 2010
Please join me.... death of an ego... rejoicing of the heart...
Over the last few weeks I have dug very deep into the hearts of many... including my own. Through all I have experienced within these couple of weeks there is one question that keeps resurfacing in me. "Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy"? There is so much hurt and anger that is associated with any form of an abusive relationship that there comes a time when one must make that exact decision. Is it worth holding onto the anger, knowing that you are right in your reasons to be angry, or is it finally time to release the anger and start to live again?
The anger, frustration, hurt, and deep pain become a toxin within the body, mind, and spirit. Eventually it will kill the soul. The abuser has no idea what you are feeling, how much pain you are in or for how long this has been going on. Nor do they care! By continuing to hold onto what is familiar you are enabling them to still hold some power over you. For as much as it feels natural to still be hurt and to still be angry over someone causing you so much harm... it only hurts you. I held onto my pain from the violent relationship I had been in, for years after the fact. He had long walked away from me and started a new life. I was unable to truly move forward because there was still so much pain... so much anger from the deep wounds he had left in me. Once I realized that I was standing in the way of my own happiness I started to work on those wounds more lovingly. I took time for me. I treated me with respect. I offered love to myself. I released my 'need' to see justice served for the offense that had been committed and there had been an offense! Yet the longer I held onto the feelings from that time, the deeper they dug into me. It was as if they were planting roots in my heart and strangling me.
I will never forget the offense itself. How could I? Yet the memory serves a very real purpose. To remember is to remind ourselves that we deserve better than where we have been. So I gave up the 'need' to be right ... for I was already right on what the facts were. In doing so... I gained the 'right' to be happy.
It was my ego that was holding onto that need to find justice... to serve it with vengeance... to see retribution. Once I threw the ego out of control I actually took control back of my life. From that moment forward I started living from the heart. Was it easy? Absolutely not! Yet today I am the one who is healed and living a healthy life. He is not. So not by my hand, but justice was actually served. Does it make me feel any better? No, not really. It's sad that he was not able to heal also. I am simply grateful that my eyes were opened and I was enabled to move forward and finally live without the chains of the past holding me back.
Time to Live....
I have no fear of where I've been
for hurt and pain have been my kin
for years too long to be surrendered.
Yet now I see where I wish to be
released from pain ... finally set free
with my soul completely mended.
There is no escaping anywhere
that I could possibly compare
to ego's death and my hearts rejoice.
Now my heart is alive again
every so often looking back at 'when'...
forever I am grateful for this healthy choice.
I offer this to you my trusted friend
for your serenity and your heart to mend
forever living free of a tormented past.
For here is where you ought to be
released... rejoicing... absolutely free...
the chains are broken... finally at last.
created by Dawn Ellen Kiss
copyright July 2010
I ask each of you who are still holding onto the pains of the past... open your hands and release your grip on all that has dug so deep into you. Empty your hearts of that familiar feeling of having the life squeezed out of you. Then accept that healing that will come.... and it will, for this is when you are ready... when you feel so incredibly empty. We can not be filled with treasures of the heart, if our hearts are still full from the hurts of our pasts. Release... and then receive all of the treasures you so justly deserve. Be gentle with your hearts for they are the pathways to your soul and your Soul is precious to me.