Originally Posted 10/1/17 Ok.... let's get back to it. Week 32..... I had taken a break because of what was happening in the world. There was so much disaster that I could bring myself to continue with the rest of the sessions. It's time to move forward.... sometimes we just need to be reminded of what we've forgotten about ourselves. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fear... a prescription for death September 23, 2010 This week didn't hesitate to bring me yet another revelation. When confronted with my past I saw for the first time how I allowed someone else's fear to control my life. It was a very rude awakening. A much needed awakening. I was not always as strong as I am now. At one point in time I would have done just about anything to please those who were closest to me. I would have given until I was empty to simply not have to live in fear. How sad to think that I had no self worth. How much sadder to think that someone would have taken advantage of that fact. What part of my life did they control? My ability to make a sound decision... a sound judgment on what was best for me. Their own fear paralyzed me. I gave up openly praying. When one has no faith at all they fear because they have become empty. This person judged me... crucified me for believing so strongly in prayer. For believing in something that cannot be seen, except for the end results. The problem was... they were their fear. It had consumed them. Given enough time it would have consumed me too. I have learned so much since those days. The very most we can do for the ones we are close to is to simply be ourselves and share our souls openly with no expectations. There is no fear when we simply accept what life has to offer. If we give for the shear joy of giving... it is always returned to us. Fear... a prescription for death Sitting here trembling in someone elses fear, Why, tell me why I can't seem to think clear. What is this cloud that is held over me? What will it take to set myself free? What is missing inside of them? Why do they look at me and so easily condemn my every thought, my deepest feelings, my very soul? Because they can't afford to let me become whole. If I were to gain my senses back their fear could no longer attack the very thing that could destroy it most truth, trust, faith... there are a number of hosts. Fear itself is a prescription for death, for it would drain our very last breath. Yet I stand strong within my Soul for I have taken back my power...now I am made whole! created by Dawn Ellen copyright September 2010 Each week I ask you to join me in prayer. This week I wish to thank you ... each of you... for sharing in prayer with me. For sharing your lives with me. I am grateful for each of you. You have all made a difference in my life. You have brought life to my world. Because of you I am stronger than I know. Yes it is by God's own hands. Yet each of you are his messengers. May you be blessed with Love to fill your Spirit, Laughter to fill your Soul, Light to ease your way on this Journey and a thousand tiny Miracles to make your Heart sing. Many hugs... Dawn
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Originally Posted 9/24/17 It's that time again. Come make yourself comfortable. Stay awhile. Let the peace of this place seep in deep. From now until November 17th I will be sending Peace, Love, and Reiki to all who need it. All one needs to do to receive the continuous stream is say, "I accept" silently from your heart. Please join me on the porch. There's always room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As a suicide survivor this truly hit home with me.... a wonderful reminder that it's never worth it .... for any reason!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The morning after I killed myself. The morning after I killed myself, I woke up. I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels. The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed. The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine. The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication. The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother. The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach. The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started. By Meggie Royer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We're going into suicide season. Please share with anyone who you feel might need it. Thank you. Namaste! Originally Posted 9/10/17 So.... I went looking to see what Week 32 would bring us and in light of the disasters that we have been facing I'm pushing the session back once again. I saw what was there and it is not what I wish to offer you now. For now, right this minute, come sit with me. Sit and allow the peace to settle in replacing all of the anxiety that the world has stirred up lately. Come sit whenever you want. A chair is always waiting. The lake is calm. There is Peace waiting for you here. Please... Come sit. Originally Posted 9/3/17 Week 32 will come next week. Today I was prompted to share this. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Never try to be something or someone you're not. Not to 'fit in'. Not to make life 'easier'. Not to 'hide'. Not for 'any' reason. You were made special for a reason. Embrace who you are. Honor yourself. Show others it's perfectly ok to be who you were born to be.... uniqueness and all. |
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